Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Breaking News From the Liberal Left

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This just in from sunny Florida via New York!
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Rush Limbaugh, in a very predictable move got a massive group of 100,562 (but who’s counting?) rowdies to march on Washington D.C. to take back the nation, as Limbaugh put it, “for the people and for ME.” Armed with machetes, pitch forks, nail guns with extremely long extension cords, and potato guns the march took place and is currently camped out in front of the nation’s capital in Valley Forge style accommodations awaiting further orders from Mr. Limbaugh. The situation is tense as the army has now surrounded the capital building but is hesitant to take the mob on as Limbaugh has promised to unleash his “spuds from hell” replete with hot butter and margarine knives used as a mixed fodder of conservative fury. We’ll keep you updated.

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This also just in from New York!
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A similiar march on Washington was held by talk show host Glenn Beck that has now stopped momentarily at the Washington Monument where protesters led by Beck are even now dispersing all the litter that they did not previously leave during the 8/28 rally. “We’re dropping trash and stuff like that to represent the fact that we’re mad as heck... wait, is it after 9pm? It is? Good…to represent the fact that we’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take Washington’s crap anymore,” said the hate spewing Beck. Beck has also cornered the market on trash collection tools, like he is cornering the market on gold, to prevent the place from getting cleaned up.
 
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This just in from all over Alaska
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In a not so stunning move, Sarah Palin, former Alaska Gestapo lead-- Governor, is bringing a violent contingent of polar bear killers via an armada of hunting helicopters to swoop down and incite violence wherever liberals are holding peaceful intelligent public meetings (which come to think of it may be impossible to find, even for Sarah). “This time when I say, ah shoot!, I really mean it, gosh darn it!” There is word that she is looking for intelligent life from politicians in California but has not been successful in her quest. The hunt goes on.
 
Another sad day these sort of goings-ons are happening to incite violence like the tragedy that just occurred in Arizona, folks.



The sad part is, in the liberal’s mind in regards to their version of reality, it really is.

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