The irony was thick and rich on Election night as the expected was somehow the unexpected which is what everyone expected…in an unexpected sort of way, of course. Confused? Read on.
Doggone it, Nancy Pelosi was ticked. She knew at the beginning of election night she had her oversized fit for a clown gavel at her side but by the end of the night she had lost it…never to be found again.
Doggone it further, Barack Obama was ticked. Hadn’t he graced the nation with so many speeches some words in the English language are officially listed as MIA? What happened? How could the vote have gone so bad? He was so sure that he had unangered and underanged the American voter so that they were back under his control mouthing the mantra trance words, "Yes, we can." Somehow Americans got it wrong and said, "Oh no you don’t." What a bunch of idiots he was leading, he thought in his most cerebral pose, still clinging to their guns and their religion… Oh, well, I’ve got an itch to spend! Hey Michelle, let’s say we blow this country off for a couple weeks and go east! Heck, money’s no object; in fact, invite 3,000 of your closest friends and lets go blow couple billion abroad. That’ll show them to mess with Barack Hussein Obama! (He’s not kidding about this.)
Doggone it, now Harry Reid was ticked as well. Where was everyone? After the election all the Democratic incumbents were supposed to meet for a victory party. Looking nervously at his watch, he saw that it was 8:30 (one hour past his bedtime) and no one else was here. Oh well, may as well have some cake while I’m waiting. (Cut to 11:30 pm) Hello? Is anyone else here? I’m serious guys if this is some kind of joke, I’m not laughing! Where are you guys?! (Cut to 2:30 am) By this time Harry is prone, sucking his thumb (his usual sleeping aid) and quietly wondering if he really is all alone.
Doggone it, Chris Matthews was really feeling bummed. Barry Manilow’s “Trying to Get That Feeling Again” was playing in the background as Chrissy was wondering when that special tingle he used to feel all the time was going to come back. He longed for that wonderful jolt that gave him that Obama high and left him wondering about his sexual orientation. Tonight, nothing was happening. Darn Republicans were leaving him as flat as a day old beer in a cheap glass. Wait, Harry Reid won! Is it coming back now? Nope. A Harry victory did little more than give him a cheap cramp in his big toe. As he sat there massaging it and cleaning out the lint between his toes, he wondered if his T.V. audience would shrink below the 30 people that watch him every night on MSNBC. Man, he really needed that .0000005 percentage Neilson rating that made him one of the top rated shows on this network.
All across the nation, fellow Democrats were asking if anyone got the plate of the Republican truck that hit them. Americans gave them the keys back and now they were in the driver’s seat. Somewhere, Linus was smiling knowing that he had a better chance of seeing the Great Pumpkin than the Democrats seeing a victory. Another major step toward Americans reclaiming their country had just taken place.
NOBAMA 2012!
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